I Need You
by errantry
Summary: Over the winter, when Rick would have trouble sleeping he would talk to Daryl. Daryl started to realize that he cared. About Rick. About everyone.


Night fell over the prison, flashlights clicked off in the individual cells as everyone got ready for a night of difficult sleep. Rick sat on the cold, dirty floor, his head resting against the wall. He had said goodnight to Carl, told him not to worry, as he had been doing for months now. He walked passed Lori's cell without a word. Shouldn't he care more? Since she has that baby in her belly? Nothing has been the same since Shane died. Everything changed that night. It was easier before. Easier to fake, to lie, to pretend he still felt something for her, when really, it had been Shane all along. But now he's gone, and everything seems to be slipping away.

Rick heard Daryl grunt, and was reminded of much he'd grown to like the redneck. He understood the weight Rick was carrying, how much pain he's been in since the start of all this. Over the winter they'd grown close. Talking during sleepless nights, the hours seemed to fly by when he spoke to Daryl. Daryl knew a lot of things about Rick, things Lori didn't even know. He knew that Shane had a way taking Rick's pain away, he knew that Rick had loved him more than anyone. But Rick didn't know much about Daryl. He kept a lot of things secret in fear. Fear of abandonment, abuse, and rejection. He thought it was better not to get attached, to ignore Rick's lingering glances and assume they meant nothing. Because Rick will leave, or die. They all will. But Daryl would think. Every night he would think of how good it would feel to be touched again, to be kissed again. He wouldn't think on it too long, though, that would would be foolish. But he couldn't help but allow the thought to enter his mind for a few moments when he looked at Rick. He doesn't want to admit he cares, but he does, immensely.

Walking up the stairs to the platform where Daryl sat, Rick sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. The other man glanced up at him in the darkness and grunted. Rick sat beside him, their shoulders touching, sending goosebumps down Daryl's arm and across his back. "Can't sleep?"

"Can I ever?" Rick replied. "I want to. God, I do. I'd give anything for a bottle of sleeping pills."

"I'll knock you out if you want."

Rick laughed. "Knock me out forever. I don't want to wake up in this mess anymore. I'm so tired. I'm tired of them looking at me to lead them. I'm tired of Lori..." It was easy for Rick to just start talking and not stop. It didn't matter if he would spill some secret because it was Daryl. Only Daryl, but Rick knew he cared. "I miss him." That was something he'd always say. He'd never stop missing him because Shane had been part of the world before it shattered. Rick missed his job and his house. He missed cooking and hot water. And he missed when he and Shane used to eat lunch together in the patrol car, and how Shane would steal his fries and sometimes lick away the ketchup from the side of Rick's mouth. Daryl, Daryl didn't miss much because his world, before this, was surviving, and that's what he's doing now.

"I know you miss him," Daryl said quietly.

Rick sighed, "I like this. Talking to you. I don't have to watch what I say."

"I like this, too." Daryl wanted to tell him that he didn't have to love him. "I know you feel the need to protect everyone and it's tough. And you got that boy of yours, I can't imagine..."

"I wish he was older. Then, maybe, he could take my place. I could just walk into the woods and..." Rick looked at Daryl, then. "I've thought about it. I think we all have. When Lori told me she was pregnant, I didn't think I would be able to endure it. Shane couldn't even help me. Vut this weight is killing me. I don't know how long I'll be able to go on. I know ya'll need me but...maybe it would be better. You could lead them." Daryl shook his head.

"I need you."

"What?"

"What would I do without you?" Daryl said with sudden confidence. "I'm surprised I haven't blown my own head off. What do I have? Nothing, but this. I know that every night you're gonna come over and we're gonna talk, and that's gonna make the next day bearable enough to make it through. This is all I have." _You're all I have._ "You have people to live for, people that need you. No one needs me, I'm-" The words caught in Daryl's throat as Rick crushed their mouth's together. The kiss was fierce, as if Rick was trying to convey something only through his mouth. Daryl relaxed and moaned as Rick coaxed his mouth open with his tongue.

Suddenly, Rick moved on top of him, settling down on Daryl's lap. Daryl slid his hands up Rick's back, feeling the muscles beneath the thin shirt. Rick tasted like how the world was before, like life.

"_I _need you." A tear ran down Daryl's cheek. Suddenly, he had something to live for. This man wasn't going to hurt him, like everyone else had. Rick broke away and kissed the other man's neck gently.

"I don't want to replace him," Daryl tightened his arms around Rick. "Shane, I mean. I just want to make things better for you. I want to make sure the pain isn't too much to handle."

"You are...you are helping me." Rick kissed him again. "More than you think. It's okay to care about us, Daryl, we won't hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you." Rick wiped the tear that ran down the man's cheek, then moved off of him and laid down on the small mattress. Daryl tentatively laid beside him and Rick reached around to pull his arm around him. Daryl nestled against Rick's neck, relaxing, their body's forming into one another's. "Let's stay like this for awhile." Rick said, but the other man was already drifting to sleep. He squeezed Daryl's hand and stared down at the dark cell block. Listening to Daryl's even breaths, his eyes slowly began to close.


End file.
